hyphen_chan (hyphen_chan) wrote in fic_the_faith,
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FIC FOR IMIFUMEI

For: imifumei
From: encoded_panties


Title: Crop Circles in Rice Paddies and Other Things KAT-TUN Worry About
Pairings/Characters: Koki/Maru, KAT-TUN/KAT-TUN
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: KAT-TUN’s member-whatever, retardation.
Notes: In my attempt to write you something romantic, this happened. I don’t even know. But I do hope you’ll still enjoy it, dear imifumei. ♥
Thanks to you-know-who for the encouragement, the last minute beta and the general awesome ♥
Summary: Ueda’s Rule #11594: Drunken Confessions Are There To Be Taken Very Seriously. Or, How KAT-TUN Embarks Upon An Epic Quest To Get Koki And Maru To Confess To Each Other (Again).





「田・中・丸」

brought to you by Ueda Tatsuya's Rulebook and Taguchi Junnosuke's Continuing Awesome


an epic love story




Crop Circles in Rice Paddies and Other Things KAT-TUN Worry About







The members of KAT-TUN have all become even closer to me than family, Nakamaru had told the interviewer.




“You really think we’re like family?” Junno asked, grinning widely although his eyes never left the screen of his DS, energetically pushing buttons and coaxing cheerful bleeps out of the tiny machine.

“I wouldn’t want to be related to Taguchi,” Jin decided, wrinkling his nose at the dressing room mirror.

“I think I get what Nakamaru means, though,” Kame offered.

“I wouldn’t want to be related to Kame either,” Jin interrupted, making exaggerated faces of terror at his own reflection. “I would never be able to procreate in good conscience.”

(“If Kame had been just a little more vindictive,” Koki told Junno later on, “I’m pretty sure he could’ve aimed that blow dryer so that Jin would never be able to procreate anymore... Who taught him that word anyway?”)

As it was, Jin narrowly avoided the blow dryer and its electronic life ended with a smack against the wall.

“Hah!” he cheered. He was about to point and laugh at Kame when he realized it was, in fact, his own blow dryer that was more or less in two pieces on the floor and how was he ever going to tame his hair now, “Kamenashi, you idiot?”

“So your point basically is,” Ueda piped up from where he was lounging on the dressing room couch next to Nakamaru, idly leafing through a magazine, “that you consider us your family because you spend ridiculous amounts of time with us, you care about us, but you have no idea why because it clearly does not make any logical sense to do so, and if you weren’t connected by some higher power – be it biological ties or Johnny-san – you would’ve ran for the hills a long time ago?”

“... Yes, yes I think that’s basically what I meant.”

“That sounds sensible, actually,” Koki agreed.

“That’s our Waseda boy.” Jin grinned proudly and cheerfully stole someone else’s blow dryer.

Nakamaru groaned and crawled over to where Junno was sitting to see whether the world of happy bleeps was a better place.




They didn’t talk about it much, that weird connection they had. (Except, of course, to the hoards of nosy interviewers anxious to keep the fans updated on the inner workings of KAT-TUN.) In any case, it was much, much later that Ueda asked the three of them to drop by (which was cool, visiting Ueda’s place was always cool even if it never turned out to be the gothic castle in Spain everyone in the Jimusho secretly believed it was) and talk about... family. But you can’t call it family anymore, Ueda added, because that was weird. Koki was probably onto a better description with that whole thing about not exactly liking each other but KAT-TUN being a precious thing to them. (Although in hindsight, a flaw or two could be found in Koki’s not liking, Ueda considered.)

“So what’s this about then?” Junno asked.

“Love,” Ueda said simply. (He supposed that wasn’t the same as Like, but being technical about that was just way too much. Unless one was writing song lyrics, of course.)

Jin frowned. “But I thought we agreed that…”

“Well, we just need to help them along with a little tough love,” Ueda conceded.

“Help them along with what?” Kame asked suspiciously.

“Love, of course,” Ueda answered, smiling bright and cheerful and heart melting like only Ueda could smile.




But that’s not how it began.




While they were being completely honest, and possibly more than slightly tipsy, Koki noted there was a small chance he might possibly, when viewed from a certain standpoint, be kind of maybe very much in love with Nakamaru Yuichi.

Kame blinked slowly, pursing his lips in serious consideration. The first thing he considered was that he was too drunk for this shit. The second was that he should probably start laughing now, choking hazard or no, because this was clearly the best thing ever.




Kamenashi Kazuya liked to think he was a responsible adult. After all, someone had to be the responsible adult in KAT-TUN. Kame and Nakamaru had decided to take turns. It was less of a hassle that way.

Because Kame was such an example of responsibility and self-control and other admirable adult qualities, he waited until the next morning (although some people might have called it afternoon), when he was completely sober and had had plenty of time to think things through and consider the consequences of his actions, to mass text KAT-TUN.

He was very pleased with himself for about two minutes, after which he realized he had sent the message to Koki as well and decided Nakamaru should be the better person today.

(Are you sure you sent it to Koki? Because that’d be epically stupid, Nakamaru texted half a minute later.

I wouldn’t know what else I’ve done to warrant death threats. T__T)




It’s not like Nakamaru believed the rumours Kame was spreading.

Well, that wasn’t fair, exactly. He believed Kame just fine. He’d gone out drinking with Koki himself plenty of times. Which was exactly why he didn’t put much faith in the content. Koki had never really wanted to marry any of those porn stars when he was sober again. What idiot still believed anything Koki said when he was drunk?

Judging from the ensuing text wars, the entirety of KAT-TUN. Nakamaru sighed.

But, Junno texted, he still wanted to sleep with the porn stars.

Shut up, Taguchi, Nakamaru texted back, because Junno made a point that, while certainly true, had absolutely nothing to do with the current situation whatsoever.

;) Junno texted back, and Nakamaru was Really Not Impressed.




In the end, Koki turned his phone off. One more text from Jin or associates (which had started with Yamapi and Nishikido, spread to the rest of NEWS and Kanjani8 and somehow Arashi) going LOL or containing penis emoticons and he would jump off a fucking building.




“My life is over and it’s all your fault,” Koki declared, dropping down on the couch next to his best friend.

“Eeeeh?” Nakamaru responded eloquently after nearly choking on his bottle of milk tea. Koki continued to stare forlornly off into space, all pout and puppy eyes, which Nakamaru thought was vaguely disturbing. He absently patted the rapper’s head. His heart wasn’t made of stone, after all.

“You might have confessed to liking someone else,” he suggested. “They won’t leave me alone about it either.”

“Your life must be so hard,” Koki grunted.

Nakamaru shrugged. “I didn’t bring doom on myself, is all I’m saying.”




In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have said that.




While they were being possibly slightly honest, and well on their way to incredibly drunk, Nakamaru confessed there was a tiny chance he might perhaps, when viewed from a bit of a wonky angle, be kind of maybe very much in love with Tanaka Koki. (“But only possibly, obeying several laws of nature I just made up, and I’m really lying now, you understand.”)

Jin laughed until he managed to fall from the barstool and continued to laugh, half on the floor.

Nakamaru was just sober enough (or maybe plenty drunk enough) to make desperate faces and flail and attempt to pull Jin up from the floor because it was really icky and “it’s all going to stick in your hair, Jin.”




Akanishi Jin liked to consider himself a free spirit. This might, at times, have inconvenienced others (and he pulled a face just thinking about it) but he couldn’t help being himself. However, that wasn’t the point. (He’d tried to play it off as the point but Nakamaru had made faces and whined and had almost hit him in the face in a bid to tell him he could in no way use that as an excuse.)

“The point is,” Jin tried again, brushing stray locks that had escaped from under his beanie out of wide eyes, schooling his features into the most innocent expression he could manage, “that despite my... turbulent personality, I still really love you all.”

Nakamaru didn’t look very impressed.

“Seriously! Well, I really like you all anyway... Learned to live with you, sort of thing. Anyway, the point is that I care about you lot.”

“And that’s why you felt the need to tell the entire Jimusho that I have... romantic feelings for Koki, even though I’ve never said anything like that and you completely made it up and it’s all dirty lies?”

Jin made a face. “You know, I’m not even surprised you confessed. You’re so deep in denial you must be approaching acceptance from the other end.”

Nakamaru glared and threw a pillow at Jin’s head, burying his own face in the remaining one and moaning about how hard his life was.

“And anyway,” Jin continued cheerfully because he did care about Nakamaru and he’d been more expecting the beatboxer to laugh the whole thing off than drown himself in some bizarre pit of despair, “I didn’t tell the entire Jimusho. Only the rest of KAT-TUN. And Pi, of course... and Ryo-chan...” He trailed off. He vaguely wondered if Ueda’s intricate plans were applicable to Nakamaru. He thought the beatboxer was more of a shy-smiles-and-cute-dates kind of person, really.

Then again, deep down, so was Koki.




It all evolved from there.




There were twenty confessions in the next week.

“Ueda has nasty ideas about tough love,” Jin muttered, because he’d had to spent fucking money on chocolates and flowers and he wasn’t even going to get laid for it.




“How does that work anyway?” Kame asked since Nakamaru wasn’t there and reason had shifted over to him by default. “We embarrass them into sober confessions?”

“We simply set an example,” Ueda answered and smiled. Jin made a mental note not to ever cross Ueda, ever. Or at least never to let the boxing princess find out about any crushes he may or may not have, whatever worked. He comforted himself with the fact that he was at least a better drunk than his two ridiculous bandmates. (Privately, he also thought he was a lot less gay, but he’d once tried to tell Ryo-chan that and the small idol almost hadn’t survived. Laughter was apparently serious business.)

“Why do we have to spend money?” he asked, only sulking a little bit.

“Because if we do it, we do it properly.”

“This is going to be so much fun!” Junno exclaimed, grinning widely and almost bouncing up and down on Ueda’s couch from excitement.

“How are you so suicidal?” Jin asked and he didn’t even refer to the couch.




They’re up to something, Nakamaru texted Koki.

No shit. :| Koki texted back and Nakamaru felt only a little offended.




What are you bitches up to? Koki texted Jin.

Nothing. ILU <3 Jin texted back promptly because opportunities were there to be taken advantage of.




Because Nakamaru was a lot less scary than Koki’s possible rage (hell, fluffy bunnies were scarier than Nakamaru) Jin gave him a heart shaped box of chocolates and a charming grin.

“I hate you guys so much,” Nakamaru said. But he didn’t hate chocolate, so he ate it anyway.




Since Junno was a lot more charming than usually given credit for, and also apparently fearless, he confessed his undying love for Koki that evening after PV shooting, with heaps upon heaps of charm and flourish and even some made up French.

Koki was a romantic at heart and, for one moment, was actually swayed by the smiles and the flippy hair and the red roses. Then he came to his senses and kicked Junno’s legs out from under him.




Junno was undeterred, however, and his confession to Ueda in the dressing room the next morning was something so inherently adorable that it warmed even Jin’s heart (although he’d never admit it, not even if he could make up some extra laws of nature to go with it).

Ueda’s confession back to Junno a while later, on the other hand, made Nakamaru flee out of the room before the blush had even fully coloured his cheeks.




Kame’s “confession” (Nakamaru was awed at how his bandmate could pronounce brackets) was not as much embarrassing as it was embarrassed, it being the state both of them were in throughout.

“Well,” Kame started uncomfortably, and handed him flowers. Nakamaru wondered if he owned a vase. He also wondered how far this madness extended. But mostly, at the moment, if he owned a vase.

“They’re nice,” he answered awkwardly because they were, kind of, as far as flowers went. He had the vague feeling he needed different genitals to really be able to appreciate the beauty of flower bouquets.

“Thanks,” Kame muttered, plucking at one of the ribbons of the bouquet he was still holding.

“… Why are there two?” Nakamaru asked. Not that he didn’t know. Not that he hadn’t already figured out their entire silly plan that went absolutely nowhere. The only reason why he hadn’t simply given up yet and moved two continents away was that he really liked chocolate and there was a reasonable chance of getting more free chocolate out of this. But he was feeling rather vindictive at the moment. Also, it was honestly rather bad form. Wasn’t Kame supposed to be the best actor of the bunch?

“Um,” Kame answered.




Actually, the second bouquet was presented to Koki sometime later, after Kame had chickened out and fled from Nakamaru’s Scorn. (Jin would laugh at him a lot for that.)

As Junno later told Ueda, Kame had probably done this because he’d taken a purely academic interest in explaining the difference between embarrassed and embarrassing situations.

Junno was a very optimistic person.

It is therefore more than probable that Yamapi, Ryo and Matsujun heard a more realistic, if not more coherent, account of the events later that night (or possibly early the next morning) when Jin had had enough (too much) to drink and Ryo had finished bitching about his bandmates, which took a while with two groups. (They never allowed Jun to talk about his group anymore because those tales inevitably ended in orgies and they had learned the hard way that those mental images stayed with you forever.)

“Kame is such a dick,” Jin started, because he had to start somewhere and Kame was less likely to find out he had been bitched about than Ueda because Ueda had some crazy skills in that department. (The current opinion was that he had ninja spies everywhere.)

“What did he do now?” Yamapi asked, tilting his head – and nearly banging it on the table because the alcohol was messing up his head-furniture coordination.

“He is messing with the plan,” Jin whined.

“What plan?” Yamapi asked dutifully while Ryo rolled his eyes and Jun decided he needed more alcohol.

“The plan,” Jin said slowly, trying to remember what exactly the plan was again. “Ueda’s plan to get Koki and Nakamaru together.”

“Are you guys still going on about that?” Ryo interrupted. “Not that it wasn’t hilarious while it lasted, but it’s getting kind of old now.”

“We’re performing important acts of member-ai, thank you very much.”

“…”

“We are!” Jin protested. “Only Kame is screwing things up because he’s been kissing Koki.”

“Technically that’s still an act of member-ai, right?” Jun asked, because he was from Arashi and the whole so-called member-ai thing still confused him.

“But not the right kind,” Jin insisted, partly because Ueda had said so, partly because he felt mildly ill at the idea of Kame making out with anyone.

“Enlighten us, then,” Ryo intoned, taking another gulp from the girly drink in front of him. (If anyone asked, it was Matsujun’s fault.)

“Just because they can’t keep it in their pants around each other when other people are watching doesn’t mean it’s love,” Jin replied sulkily.

“… And drunken confessions do?”

“Ueda says they do,” Jin maintained stubbornly, mostly because mentioning Ueda tended to piss Ryo off.

“… You know,” Yamapi said after due consideration. ‘I’ve heard of more convincing romances.’

“That’s because they don’t know how to do it properly!” Jin exclaimed. “And that’s why we’re showing them what to do. I’m sure they’ll catch on in no time,” he concluded confidently.




Ueda showed up at Nakamaru’s apartment on his free afternoon to give him chocolate (he’d heard from Jin that it helped) and an “I really like you, Yuichi-kun,” with one of the best smiles he could muster.

Nakamaru rolled his eyes and considered slamming the door in his face. But the chocolate did look particularly delicious.

“You know, this is getting really old really quick,” he complained when Ueda followed him to the living room.

“See it as an educational experience.”

“Educational experience, my ass. You just want to fuck with me until I give in and… well, you know…”

Ueda grinned, not even bothering to deny it. “It’s for your own good, anyway.”

Nakamaru made a face. “I saw Kame and Jin together this morning. It was like a Valentines horror movie gone wrong. That could never have been for my own good.”

Ueda hummed. “At least we’re seeing a whole new side of Taguchi.”

“From what I’ve heard, you’re seeing a whole lot more sides of Taguchi.”

“… Those are just lies and rumours,” Ueda claimed, although Nakamaru thought the other man’s cheeks were turning suspiciously pink. “Someone must have been drunk when they told you that.”

“Sure they were. Remind me to text everyone in the Jimusho about it.”




Kame was having a bad week. (“You’re having a bad week?” Koki sputtered in disbelief.)

“I think Junno stole my awesome romantic skills,” he moaned.

“… What romantic skills?”

“Hey! I resent that! I was totally romantic and hot and suave and just generally awesome before Junno performed his evil magic!”

Koki considered this. “… Mostly you were just a slut.”

“Yes, well, but a good slut.”

“There is that,” Koki admitted. “Who do you still have to confess to?”

Kame sputtered, eyes widening in shock. “H-How do you know..?”

Koki stared. “Seriously, Kame. Seriously. How ninja did you think you were being?”

“… But we’re doing this for you,” Kame muttered.

“Ueda only came up with this because he’s a sadistic bitch.”

“…”

Koki sighed and rolled his eyes. “Come on then, I’ll help you confess to the rest of your victims. You’re not being very good for KAT-TUN’s image at the moment.”




“You guys do realise it doesn’t even have any meaning anymore, right?” Nakamaru tried again. “You’re all taking the joke a bit far.”

Ueda shrugged and grinned. “There are probably hidden cameras somewhere. This is bound to get good ratings.”

“Really.”

“Plus, I think it’ll be really good for Junno’s reputation.”

“… How did this whole thing get to be about Taguchi, anyway?”




“Nakamaru, help me hide from Taguchi,” Jin implored.

Why?”

“Because I don’t want to fall under his evil spell. Duh.”

“Have you been talking to Kame?”

“… Maybe. But that’s totally not the point. Hide me.”

Nakamaru rolled his eyes. “No. You do realise this is all your own fault, right?”

“Not my fault,” Jin protested. “Ueda’s fault. I was totally on your side the entire time.”

Nakamaru was about as convinced as could be expected.




“Na~ka~ma~ru~kuuun,” Junno sang, grinning widely. Nakamaru felt vaguely scandalised already.

“Jin’s in the break room,” he said quickly, because Jin totally deserved to be sacrificed for the greater good.

Junno just smiled brightly. “I brought you lots of chocolate?” He offered.

Nakamaru hesitated, torn between the promise of lots of chocolate (God, he was weak, he mentally berated himself. Why Junno?) and the threat of falling under Taguchi’s evil spell. (Hey, if half of KAT-TUN were terrified of it, he could at least be wary.)

“It’s very tasty chocolate,” Junno continued, still smiling like he could light up the world.

Oh, hell. It was Taguchi. Taguchi was a nice guy. Maybe a little overenthusiastic sometimes, but still, free chocolate! What could possibly go wrong?




“Where’s Taguchi?” Kame asked, wandering into the meeting room, Koki in tow.

“Why do you want to know?” Jin asked suspiciously, as he’d been effectively trying to dodge that very person. (Sometimes using desperate measures. He was more convincing at sacrificing people for the greater good than Nakamaru was.)

“Because I have devised a brilliant plan to get my sexy back,” Kame claimed while Koki nodded enthusiastically.

“… What sexy?”

“The one that Junno stole.”

“… I see.” Jin considered this. “I suppose this plan is about as brilliant as Ueda’s, then?”

“Definitely.”

“… The plan that is currently falling apart all around us?”

“Er,” Kame faltered. He hadn’t quite thought of it like that, yet. He glared at Koki, because it was all his fault, and then at Jin because Bakanishi did not have the right to sit there and pretend like he owned all the brains in KAT-TUN.

Jin grinned. “Oh well,” he said, grabbing his coat and bag, “Do your best. I’m off to bother NEWS, so I’ll be far, far away when everything inevitably collapses into fail.”

“… You know,” Kame started when Jin had left and the two of them were left alone, “I’m suddenly feeling a lot less confident.”

“Don’t listen to Akanishi, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” was Koki’s expert opinion.




“So, do you want to go see a movie together next week?” Junno asked, grinning and bouncing on his heels.

“Um. Sure,” Nakamaru agreed cautiously.

“Awesome!” Junno grinned some more.

“… You know, I don’t have some creepy gay crush on you or anything,” Nakamaru said awkwardly, feeling the ridiculous need to justify himself.

Junno smiled a little wider. “I know that! We had fun today, didn’t we?! But I know your creepy gay crush is reserved for Koki-kun.”

Nakamaru stared at Junno, still the epitome of happiness. Then he turned around very slowly and walked away, hoping his cheeks weren’t glowing too much.

… Oh, burn.




“Oi, Akanishi,” Nakamaru called out, peeking into NEWS’ meeting room.

“Yo,” Jin replied from where he was helping Ryo harass Kato.

“Where did everyone go? I seem to have misplaced my entire group. Except you. Not that you aren’t misplaced. Hello Massu!”

Jin shrugged. “I think Kamenashi and Koki are challenging Taguchi to an epic battle of hotness. Or something.” He rolled his eyes, stealing Kato’s lunch while Ryo was insulting the younger idol’s hair. “Just follow the sound of cheering juniors and it should lead you there. I am staying as far away from that shit as possible.”

“Huh.”




Nakamaru liked to think he was sensible (at least to KAT-TUN standards), so he opted for lunch instead of witnessing what the juniors would later assure him was a Very Epic Battle. And also Hot. Nakamaru doubted that, actually, but he was generally less star struck by his fellow members than the impressionable juniors were. As such, it wasn’t until four hours later that he ran into a KAT-TUN member again.

“Ah, Nakamaru!” Koki greeted him, glancing around the otherwise empty hallway.

“Hey. Where’s the rest gone? I think we were supposed to work today, actually.”

Koki made a face, absently rubbing his head. “I think there were some cameras,” he offered and Nakamaru rolled his eyes. He was starting to wonder if there were actually cameras everywhere or if his bandmates were just seeing things.

“So where is the rest now?” Nakamaru asked, a little curious about the Epic Showdown despite himself.

“Well. Ueda’s comforting Kame.”

Seriously? What about Taguchi?”

“I… think he’s involved as well somehow,” Koki answered evasively.

Nakamaru blinked. “… I see.”

“Yes.”

“That’s kind of disturbing.”

“Definitely,” Koki agreed emphatically.

A beat.

Then,

“Let’s text everyone we know.”

“Fuck yes.”




“So, I was thinking,” Koki began, settled comfortably on Nakamaru’s couch, feet on the coffee table, “that next time we go out drinking, the two of us should probably go together. You know.”

Nakamaru nodded. “Yes, that’s probably best.”

“Yeah.” Koki swallowed. “So I guess what I’m saying is…”

“Yeah,” Nakamaru interrupted, nodding. “Me too.”

“Well. That’s good,” Koki said. Then he decided that confessing clearly wasn’t their strongest suit and leaned over to kiss Nakamaru instead.

That, after Nakamaru’s initial shocked yelp, went way better.




“I really, really like you, Yuichi,” Koki murmured much later that night, face buried in the crook of Nakamaru’s neck.

Nakamaru grinned in spite of himself. “Tanaka Koki, did you just confess to me?”

“Myeah. Need to practice,” Koki explained sleepily.

“… Practice?”

“Yeah. For next week.” He yawned. “One down, nineteen more to go, Yucchan.”

Nakamaru opened his mouth to reply, but then Koki’s fingers tickled across his abdomen and he decided he had better things to think about right now.




There were, as far as anyone knew, eighteen more confessions. They were as public, romantic, ridiculous and absurdly grotesque as possible and, as Jin pointed out, “Your plan kind of backfired there, Uebo.”




There were, for example, the flowers. Koki, of course, aimed for the very best, and fortunately he knew a guy who knew a guy who knew this other guy and his cousin dealt in flowers, kind of thing. It all sounded highly suspicious, but it had the upside of being highly affordable.

They were in the middle of filming their next PV when a couple of hundred red roses were delivered to My most precious Yucchi ♥. Nakamaru’s face turned about as red as the flowers and he was in the middle of swearing revenge when Koki pulled him into an empty room to show him just how precious he was.

Nakamaru emerged just as red in the face as before, but considerably more pleased with the world.

“What the fuck, you guys,” was Jin’s opinion on the matter.




There was also the chocolate cake. The Valentine’s season had come and gone, and gone were also the absurdly decorated boxes of chocolate, but, as Nakamaru said, chocolate cake was forever.

This one was man high and decorated with strawberries and rather explicit confessions of adoration in chocolate frosting.

“Oh my god,” Kame exclaimed. “What is that?”

“Cake!” Nakamaru announced happily, holding up his spoon.

Kame sighed in relief. “For a moment there, I thought we had a seventh member.”

“What the fuck, you guys,” Jin said and went off to blame Ueda.




There was also that time in the showers after dance practice.

“What the fuck, you guys!” Jin cried, and that was the only thing anyone said about that.




Then there was the time with the giant teddy bear.

“You said you collected them,” Nakamaru stated.

“Yee-ees,” Koki admitted carefully. ‘But this one’s bright pink and reaches to the ceiling.’

“Exactly. I can’t see the problem, honestly.”

“What. The. Fuck,” Jin said, stopping dead in the doorway.

“You should really do something about your swearing, Jin. It’s getting a bit out of hand,” Nakamaru said.




There was also the time with the balloons. Nakamaru had somehow gotten hold of a shitload of bright red, helium-filled balloons (Massu had been involved) to pay back for the room full of roses.

Koki had gotten his hands on a roughly equal amount of bright pink, helium-filled balloons (juniors had been involved) as payback for the enormous teddy bear (which was still residing in the Jimusho because they couldn’t fit it through the door. Apparently it had once come in through the window).

“Which means,” Kame explained to their manager on the phone, “that not only is the entire room packed with balloons, they also clash.”

“… The fuck,” Jin muttered while he glared at people. He was starting to wonder if this was how Ryo felt all the time.




Just when everyone thought they’d seen the worst (and people were slowly starting to stop threatening Ueda, who remained vaguely amused by the whole thing) Koki convinced Kanjani8 to serenade love songs for them during several hours of cartoon KAT-TUN filming.

Jin had no words anymore, but he did chase people, brandishing a guitar over his head, for a while. Nakamaru convinced Murakami-kun to hit Koki because this was undoubtedly going too far.

Meanwhile, Junno cheerfully sang along with the Kansai love songs because nothing could put a stop to Junno’s awesome streak.




The day after, though, Nakamaru considered it completely acceptable and romantic to beatbox to Koki all day.

By noon, Koki was rapping along.




There was also a lot of giggling and notes and hearts. There was a day with constant cell phone messages and the most annoying cutesy ringtones they could dig up. It may have also involved planes and fireworks before Kame started to resolutely close the blinds of every room they were in. Then there was the… internet issue. There was even that time Ueda had to read a rather embarrassing message during R-One KAT-TUN, although possibly Nakamaru had been more embarrassed. And that time on Music Station, although Kame and Junno covered that one up pretty well.


There was even –

“I think you’ve had eighteen now,” Ueda said, smiling. “I’ve been counting. Two more to come?”

Nakamaru just made a face at him. “This is all your fault, you know.” It vaguely annoyed him that Ueda was so pleased with himself while Jin was texting him ten times a day now, mostly with messages along the lines of DDDDDD:.

“Fault? I think this has all worked out amazingly well.”

Nakamaru tilted his head. “I’ve heard about it from the others, about your weird reasons.”

Ueda grinned, hoisting himself up on a desk and swinging his feet. “Weird reasons? I had awesome reasons.”

“Ueda’s Tatsuya’s rule number 11594: drunken confessions are there to be taken very seriously,” Nakamaru recited. “How is that not weird?”

Ueda laughed. “Well, that’s quite a high number, isn’t it? I’m sure there must’ve been more important rules involved too.”

“That’s not what they told me,” Nakamaru protested.

“Well, I don’t tell my minions everything.”

“… Huh.”




Nakamaru was cleaning up at home (flowers gave such a mess, even if he had invested in a vase) when the doorbell rang.

“Hey,” Koki greeted him.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were coming over.”

Koki coughed. “Well. There’s still one confession left.”

“There is,” Nakamaru agreed.

“I thought we might do that one here,” Koki announced before backing Nakamaru up against the table and kissing him hard enough to make all of the roses and balloons and cake and fireworks and hearts and serenades and utter ridiculousness seem like the most romantic things he’d ever experienced.

That might just be because of the lack of oxygen to his brain, though.

“You know,” Koki murmured against his lips. “I really think you’re old enough to face the truth now, Yucchi-kun.”

Maybe. Just one extra law of nature, if anyone asks.




Then again…

Maybe it worked just fine, gravity being what it was.

(Maybe just one more, only to get that ridiculous pink bear out of the building.)




That night, Koki kissed him all over and promised him he loved him with every kiss. It was something in excess of twenty confessions.

Nakamaru didn’t, however, remember to count them, so he spent quite some time kissing Koki back, making absolutely sure they were at least even.

And a bit.




He got a text from Ueda at three in the morning.

Ueda’s Rule #2: Family is Important.




That’s still weird, he texted back at something past three.




At four AM, Ueda’s Rule #1: Happiness is Important.


Tags: p: koki/nakamaru, rated: pg-13, year: 2010
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